User blog comment:Lordsunflash/1000 word writing contest/@comment-1427879-20110525165515

I tried to put it on your talk page but couldn’t so here it is. Yay! It’s a rambly angsty depressing 1000+ word thing! I realize some parts are confusing but that’s due to necessary anonymity since it’s based off of a teaser for my fanfic. I almost feel like redoing this since it covers a long “moment” and is mostly thoughts. It was surprisingly hard…and easy at the same time though. If I did it again it would be more actions and details but I’m not sure yet. Anyway, enough extra rambling. Here ‘tis:

And it was in that moment that he realized it. Or not just it. He realized at least two things. He realized for one, just how good a friend his friend was. His friend knew what to do to make him laugh. His friend was willing to do almost anything for him…even die. His friend was free when he needed to talk or someone else was too busy. He realized how close they’d gotten in such a short span. There was no other way to describe it except brotherhood.

And now it was gone. The weapon had come down. His friend had shown an unbelievable amount of peace. His friend didn’t even look pained. Of course, it wasn’t that unbelievable if he thought about it. That’s the way his friend went at the world: peaceful not at all like his fiery self. No, his fiery self would have done a number of other things, possibly taking someone else down with him. Though there was that small inhibiting factor. His friend had always been good with his chosen weapon and that made it all the worse. There had been no chance for his friend to get away. It had been unfair. And though he was fiery he was struck dumb by it. He hadn’t done anything to avenge his friend. Even if the weapon had been originally aimed at him. He had just frozen cowardly as he had always known he would, but hoped that he wouldn’t. Which made it worse again.

But this was all beside the point. Because that wasn’t all he had realized. He hadn’t even fully comprehended all that when it had come into his mind. The only thing that he had comprehended, and even then he hadn’t totally understood it, more didn’t want to understand it, was that it was over. Never again to continue. Of course there would be the whole last words but never again would it be. Because his friend was…No, his mind still would not let him say it. No, he wouldn’t believe it! He couldn’t be! No, his friend wouldn’t abandon him like that! A small voice told him: his friend did it for him though. Which twisted it all and made him confused. Not just confused…sad and mad and unworthy.

The fatal moment replayed and the realizations grew stronger. The weapon hitting, the blood pouring, the wrench of pain for just a second, the face of peace, and the glance of friendship. The random shaft of light hitting the metal, the slow torturous drip of an unbelievably shiny drop of bright red blood, and the protest of strong denial whose source was hard to tell. The contrast of the drop of blood with the almost vibrant green of the grass…grass…his friend must be down. A leaf, in brilliant orange with the end dipped in a blood red color, drifted slowly down to the ground. The stark coincidence of it hit him. It was symbolic in a way. But no! That meant his friend had fallen. Everyone else had vacated the area for some reason or another but he did not notice. All he could do was stare as he realized that his legs had made his way over and he was leaning over his friend.

And then it hit him, fully hit him. His friend was dead…or soon to be. There was no denying it. His face contorted in spasms as different facial structures took to doing different aerobatics. His heart sunk dramatically, and very painfully, into the acidic pit of his stomach. He had a hard time breathing.

A sound after the roar of the short lived skirmish then vacuum of a silence brought at least his ears to attention. It was the dying words…dying…his chin did a somersault. He listened close while still trying to control his face’s new acrobatic propensities. Or at least he tried. He was mainly trying to file them away in his semi-consciousness for later examination when he could fully concentrate on them. But, it seemed to him that his friend understood.

His friend laid still and his face felt wet. Very wet. Uncomfortably so. The realizations had lead to another realization: he would need to get past that small inhibiting factor and revenge his friend. Revenge, did revenge really help? It didn’t matter, he would do it anyway. His friend deserved at least that much. The cold sad emptiness inside him slowly turned into a hot mad void. He realized he was shouting and hoped he didn’t reveal too much. But now he couldn’t care. He finally succumbed…to tiredness, to sadness and to anger and his whole body shook with the power of it.

She saw it all, watched the whole moment and she understood. She couldn’t fully understand but she knew. She had witnessed many scenes from it, participated in several to make them memorable, enough to understand in part. She could only imagine it from her point of view and it was horrible. She could scarcely bare to brush up against the imagined tortured void. She recoiled mentally and looked at him with compassion.

When he finally succumbed she was there. And it was enough. It wasn’t his friend but it came close. She was different, that was for certain. But different isn’t always bad. While his friend faced the world peacefully but almost unwaveringly, she faced it with a fire akin to his but tempered with stubbornness. And with her stubbornness she would help him get through this. But it would take time, naturally. Things like this never went away quickly. All pain recedes with time. The time may be quick or short depending. It may not heal completely but it recedes. It often forms a scar but at least it has the potential to be a healed scar. It may be ragged and ugly but if it has been helped along on its way out, it can be healed. Something may be gained. And they can be, and hopefully will be, comforted.