User blog:Lord of Bloodwrath/Redwall Characters:FIGHT!

Note:This is a parody and is not canon

Prologue
Urgan Nagru was sitting in a recliner made of ice in his house while filing his claws. Urgan Nagru was about to start painting his claws when Silvamord came in."Urgan, somebeast's on the phone for you!"

Urgan clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. "Curses! Right as I'm about to paint my claws purple!", thought the Foxwolf to himself. Urgan Nagru walked to the kitchen and picked up the phone."Hello?"

A familiar voice answered. It was Ublaz Mad Eyes."Urgan, there's a big international fighting tournament with all of us Redwall characters and we need more people for it!"

Urgan looked down at his newly filed claws."Who's in charge o' this?"

Ublaz's voice answered."No one yet."

Urgan grinned in a wicked sense of joy."I think I'' be the beast to run this thing!"

Ublaz sounded happy."Thanks! I'll see you there!"

Urgan squinted his eyes up."By the way, what time does it start?"

Ublaz sounded casual as he answered."Tomorrow at 10:00 A.M.!"

Urgan rubbed his paws together."Deal!"

The pine marten and the Foxwolf ended their conversation. Urgan Nagru raised his head to the sky with his open arms. Now, he could finally paint his claws purple!

Chapter 1:BEGIN!
The next day, Urgan Nagru and Silvamord rode to the big stadium in Mossflower Woods. Urgan Nagru and his wife stepped out of their yellow Voltswagon Beetle and took in the scene. There were creatures, vermin and woodlanders alike, going in or out of the stadium. The sound of a car alarm brought the Foxwolf back to his senses. He turned to see a young male otter wearing an unzipped hoodie and wearing a reddish black T-shirt under it with blue jeans that were white at the thighs lying on the ground. The otter looked up and put his beanie back on his head grabbed his skateboard and ran inside. The young otter apparently had tried to do a skateboarding trick over the car and had failed. Urgan shook his head. "Stupid punk kid!"

Silvamord put a paw on her husband's shoulder."Now, now, Urgan. He's just some foolish woodlander trying to impress some ottermaid, but failing epicly."

Urgan frowned."Fine. Let's go inside before it starts. Wait, I'm the one in charge! It can't start without me!"

Urgan walked inside and saw a black rat with scars on his chest and face wearing shades and ragged pants stopped Urgan Nagru and Silvamord."Before you enter, I need to see some identification."

Urgan Nagru put a paw at the rat's chest and pushed him over."I don't need no stinkin' ID! I'm in charge 'ere!"

The rat lie on the ground clutching his rib."My rib, my rib!"

Urgan Nagru and Silvamord walked into the stadium where the audience watched the fight. The Foxwolf saw Baby Rollo with a lollipop and took it. The baby vole cried, but the Foxwolf just sent him on his way. Silvamord confiscated the lollipop."You'll rot you're teeth eatin' those!"

Urgan Nagru whined."Will not!"

Ublaz heard the voice of his friend and walked over to him."Well, well, you came! Let me introduce you to the staff!"

Ublaz led Urgan Nagru and the Foxwolf to a table where several creatures sat.Ublaz pointed to each one as he introduced them.Ublaz first pointed to a squirrel named Thurrn, then he pointed to an otter named Neil, then a half mouse, half rat named Merlock. Urgan saw a strange looking badger in the corner with a deck of cards in his paws. Urgan nudged Ublaz."Who's he?"

Ublaz indicated the badger with a jerk of his head."Oh, him? That's ol' Richard of the Flame. Strange beast he is. He's a champion at poker and he's in charge of providing weapons."

Just then, a Dibbun walked past Richard and looked at the badger. Richard looked at him."BOO! SCRAM! BEAT IT! You better run, punk!"

The Dibbun ran off squealing. Urgan Nagru watched the Dibbun run off until he heard a voice."Sorry I'm late!"

Urgan Nagru turned and saw the same otter from earlier."YOU!"

Ublaz pointed to the otter."Oh, and that's Silver. He's Neil's apprentice, but he will be fighting."

Urgan crossed his arms."Fine! Let's just get started!"

Ublaz pointed to the judges."Our judges:Thurrn, Merlock, and Martin 2, Head Chief of Senseless Explosions."

Martin 2, a mouse, was sitting in a corner with Richard."HEY, HEY, RICHARD! RICHAAAAARRRD.....ARE YOU LISTENING?! HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Why are you banging your head against the wall? Where does the roll in "Rick Roll" come from? Huh? Huh? HUH?!"

Richard glared at Martin 2."I'm shuffling my cards because I'm bored. How should I know where the roll in "Rick Roll" comes from?! Do I look like I have an advice column?! What would it be called? Ask Richard?"

Martin 2 gazed at Richard as if he had heard nothing that Richard had said."WOOOO!"

Richard sighed."Here. Take this, um.....toy and go poke a big vermin gang leader with it."

Martin 2 grinned."YAAAAAAAAAAY! I get a new toy! WEEEEEEEEE!"

Martin 2 ran off and an explosion was heard. Urgan Nagru was amazed by Martin 2."That mouse must have ADD!", thought the Foxwolf. Suddenly, the black rat from earlier, whose name was Umrag, came stomping up."YOU! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT MY RIB IS MY WEAKNESS?! I'll have you kicked outta here before you can say John Kerry!"

Merlock turned to Umrag."You do know that he's in charge, right?"

Umrag looked shocked and began bowing furiously."OOOH! I'm sooooooo sorry! It won't happen again!"

Urgan Nagru looked down at Umrag as if some sludge had gotten on his footpaws."Yeaaaahh. You do that......."

Neil walked up to Umrag and called to Silver."I get his right arm, you get his left arm."

Silver and Neil dragged Umrag to a corner where the security sat. Urgan Nagru looked around."Who's the MC aroun' 'ere?"

Ublaz grinned."Oh! I forgot about that! We already have an MC. I wonder where she...."

Suddenly, a yell came out of nowhere."OOOOOOOOOWWWWOOOOWWWWWOWWWWWOOOOAAA!!!!!!!!!"A small squirrel came swinging in on a vine and knocked Ublaz over, and landed neatly in front of Urgan Nagru and Silvamord.

The squirrel curtsied."Och, good day tae ye, goodbeasties! Ah'm Juliza Swiftree an' Ah'm thinkin' that Ah'm the MC!"

Silvamord clutched Urgan Nagru's shoulder."It's.....REPULSIVE!"

Juliza grinned."Ah'm the one, madam!"

Ublaz lifted a paw."My back....."

Juliza stomped on the pine marten."Shut it, freak eyes!"

Just then, a big wildcat and a gang of blue colored vermin came up. The wildcat was carrying something."Grrr! Why won't it die?! You can have it, it was annoying me out of my mind!"

Ungatt Trunn threw Martin towards the others."WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Martin flew through the air and crashed into Richard. Martin jumped up."DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

Just then, Riggu Felis walked by. He bumped into Ungatt Trunn and the two wildcats snarled at each other.Ungatt Trunn growled at Riggu Felis."Watch where you're goin', Kitty Cat!"

Felis bared his teeth at Ungatt Trunn."Look who's talkin', Hairball!"

The two were about to fight when Neil, Silver, and Umrag interrupted. Silver raised a paw."Cool it!"

Umrag stood between the two wildcats."Yeah! Save it for when the fighting starts!"

The two wildcats glared at each other and stormed off.

Urgan Nagru watched the wildcats."I think we've found the two for our first match...."

Chapter 2:It's a Cat Fight!
There were only 15 minutes left until the fight between Ungatt Trunn and Riggu Felis would begin. Everybeast on the staff decided that Martin 2 was too annoying to be a judge. They needed a substitute, though!

Urgan Nagru and Ublaz were frantically searching for a substitute. Ublaz pulled his fur in frustration."Grrrrrrr! We need a judge and fast!"

Just then, the 3 million year old mouse Methusaleh came in mumbling to himself. Urgan Nagru grabbed the ancient mouse."No need to look anymore!"

Methusaleh protested as he was carried away."Back in my day, everyone's death was quick an' easy! Now what did you say? Moe read many gore? Now where's my hearing aide..."

Martin 2 was sitting with Thurrn and Merlock when Thurrn saw Urgan Nagru and Ublaz coming."Hey, it's Urgan Nagru and Ublaz. They've got old Methusaleh with them."

Urgan walked over to where Martin was sitting and pushed him out. Mathusaleh was placed in Martin's old chair. Martin looked grumpily up at Urgan Nagru."Heeeeeeeeeeeey! Why did you push me?! How come?"

Urgan's face twisted into a look of mock ferocity."BECAUSE NOBODY LOVES YOU! I think I heard Richard needed help with something. Why don't you go over there to help him?"

Martin 2 ran off giggling towards Richard's weapon shop. Methusaleh turned to Urgan Nagru."What did that young mouse say? Praaaaaaaay, high kid shoe Bruce Lee?"

Urgan Nagru put a finger to his mouth."Shhhh! Quiet, Grandpa! It's starting!"

The lights went out and the spotlight was focused on the center of the arena. A wild battle cry pierced the silence like a blade."HAWAAAAAAAAAAAAY BRAAAAAAAAAW!"

Juliza entered the scene swinging on a vine. She landed neatly in the center of the arena. She put a microphone to her mouth."Welcome, Lads an' Lassies tae the fight o' the night! Ungatt Trunn vs. Riggu Felis! In this corner is the braw Earth Shaker, Ungatt Trunn 'imself! An' in the other corner is the Wildcat Ruler o' Green Isle, give it up fer Riggu Felis!"

The two wildcats glared at each other with their teeth bared. Juliza began explaining the rules."Och, Ah'll explain the rules tae the pair o ' ye braw beasties. OK, if either beast falls oot o' the ring, he/or she loses. Are ye ready? BEGIN!"

Juliza jumped back as the two wildcats charged at each other. Riggu Felis held his battle axe in one paw and advanced on Ungatt Trunn. Ungatt Trunn tried to block the battle axe by holding his trident on its side in front of him. Riggu Felis hit the trident with his axe and forced the trident down. Riggu Felis used his free paw and slashed at Ungatt Trunn with his exposed claws. The claws sank into Ungatt Trunn's cheek. Blood dripped from the wound. Ungatt Trunn, with his trident still on its side, pushed hard with the side of his trident.

Riggu Felis was knocked back a couple of paces. Juliza had a gleeful look on her face."Oooowwhooowwhooo! Riggu Felis 'as shed blood an' Ungatt Trunn is furious! Ungatt Trunn isn't lettin' Riggu Felis off easy!"

Ungatt Trunn pointed his trident at his foe. Ungatt Trunn charged at the Ruler of Green Isle. Ungatt Trunn stabbed at Riggu Felis, but Riggu Felis had his axe locked with Ungatt Trunn's trident. The axe was stuck in between where the points join. Ungatt Trunn raised his trident higher. Riggu Felis was forced to raise his axe. Riggu Felis had his axe raised over his head. Ungatt Trunn kicked Riggu Felis in the stomach, knocking the wind from him.

Riggu Felis made hoarse gasping noises. Ungatt Trunn stood over Riggu Felis with his trident at the ready. Riggu Felis suddenly regained his breath. He jumped at Ungatt Trunn's leg. He sank his claws and teeth in. Ungatt Trunn yowled in pain. He kicked at Riggu Felis with his other leg. Riggu Felis was sent sprawling. Ungatt Trunn sped over to Riggu Felis and hit him with the end of his trident on his head. Riggu Felis grabbed the end of the trident and pulled Ungatt Trunn to the ground with him. Ungatt Trunn delivered a swipe from his claws to Riggu Felis on the way down. Ungatt Trunn's claws ripped at Riggu Felis's shoulder.

The two wildcats were blinded with rage. They threw their weapons aside and began battling tooth and claw. They each ripped and tore at each other savagely as they rolled over and over on the ground. Juliza was nearly jumping with excitement."Och, this is a braw catfight!"

Riggu Felis had been pinned to the ground by Ungatt Trunn. Ungatt Trunn grabbed Riggu Felis so he could not escape. Riggu Felis kicked with both footpaws at Ungatt Trunn. Ungatt Trunn was knocked off of Riggu Felis. Riggu Felis ran to retrieve his battle axe. He stood over Ungatt Trunn with his axe ready to strike. Randomly, an old hare named Peppy shouted,"DO A BARREL ROOOOOOOOOOLL!" Ungatt Trunn barrel rolled at the right moment. Riggu Felis's axe hit the ground and became stuck. Ungatt Trunn spun around, delivering a slash to Riggu Felis, and rolled back to pick up his trident. Ungatt Trunn grabbed the trident and ran at the Wildcat Ruler of Green Isle. Riggu Felis pulled his axe out and looked up. But, too late! The Earth Shaker was upon him! Ungatt Trunn kicked at Riggu Felis's side and smashed the end of the trident on Riggu Felis's head.

Riggu Felis crumpled to the ground unconscious. Ungatt Trunn was about to attack again when Silver and Neil jumped into the ring. Silver pulled out his tazer and zapped Ungatt Trunn. Ungatt Trunn went rigid. Neil nodded at Silver."Good work. I'll carry him out." Neil hauled Ungatt Trunn on his back and along with Silver, left the arena.

Juliza was silent for a minute."UNGATT TRUNN WINS!"