User blog:Richard of the Flame/The Infamous QUESTION 19

INTRO
yes, it is i, Richard of the flame. For all you people out there who dont know me, i am the lord of darkness, master of pain, creator of evil, ETC. i run this advice collum called ASK RICHARD. and this is the infamous QUESTION 19, given to me by a person named pinedance Coneslinger. it was a 101-question-long-list. for the convenience of everyone here, i have put the questions with my answers to make it less dificult to read.

QUESTION 19!!!!
Dear Ssenkrad,

Dear Pinedancer Stuffflinger (i see my assasins have failed to kill you after your last list)

DO YOU FIND ENJOYMENT IN MY PAIN?!?!?!?!?

Why is there lava?

it burns things

What is the meaning of life?

i thought i already answerd that!

Why is there soccer?

so that European FREAKS could do stuff in their free time.

Can you implode?

yes.

How about explode?

yes.

How many brothers do I have?

i dont care.

Why does my 7 year old brother think he's a king?

because he is on some kind of mind altering drug. punch him. it should fix it.

What college should I go to?

somewhere FAR away.

Are you a friend of Sauron?

who?

Can you teleport me to Middle-Earth so I can escape my crazy life?

no. i hate Hobbits.

Where is the Peery Egyptian Theater?

Egypt

If you had 1 second to live, what would you say?

i would just kill you. then you wouldnt make such long lists for the next person to run this advice Collum.

Can I go hiking?

sure. TAKE A HIKE!

Do you live in Orthanc?

no.

Or Mordor?

double no

Why does Arwen get Aragorn?

because no one likes you.

Why is Eowyn a rider?

because he wanted to do something worthwile. i dont care.

Why are there only 9 black Riders? Why didn't Sauron make more rings?

''dude, evil people arn't made of Rings! they just cant go "oh, i think i wil make a new ring just to have a Harry potter Dementor as a horse rideing slave" NO! People dont do that!''

How can you tell when you're annoyed?

look for the sarcasm alert

Do you like mushrooms?

no

Do you like thunder?

no

How about lightning?

YES!

What's this?

an Advice collum, you Ninny

Who's that?

Richard, lord of darkness, commander of evil, ruler of the undead, creator of the Plague, ETC.

Where am I?

''probably in a room. in a building. on a planet. in space. in the bog, the bog down in the vally oh! Hey, Hey the Rattlin bog, the bog down in the Vally oh! hey hey, the Rattlin bog, the bog down in the Vally oh!''

Can you do the Hokey-Pokey?

yes. cause thats what its all about!

Do you like volcanoes?

''well, DUH! of course i do!''

Do you think Rohirric horses need to be trained by elves?

................. WHAT?

Why are elven steeds more obedient then regular horses?

i dont know, mabey they have more Fiber in their Diet....

Can you sing?

Why is it over 9000?

because 8999 was to low.

Who is Dr. Octogonapus?

My Dentist

If orcs suddenly popped up in your room and started clamouring that they were going to be your servents, what would you do(other then burn 'em)?

''tell them to burn eachother. i would help.''

Why do you kill ppl?

Do you use taxt talk?

''yes. um..... woot!''

Can you talk in computar language?

YES, I TALKZ IN TEH COMPUTER LIN6O

Can you speak Elvish?

Are you annoyed with me yet?

How much longer should I do this?

What school do the fishies go to?

Can you sing 'How to Save a Life'?

How 'bout 'Hit me with Your Best Shot'?

'Slow Ride'?

What kind of car do I own?

What do you hate?

What do you love?

Do you have cookies?

no

Cake?

no

Soda?

no

Pizza?

no

Ice Cream?

no

Junk Food?

no

Apples?

no

Pears?

no

Plums?

no

Grapes?

no

Fruit?

no

Carrots?

no

Peas?

no

Corn?

no

Lettace?

no

Veggies?

WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?????

Why was Internet invented(I know, but wanna know if you do)?

What top secret thingy are the teachers doing?

Am I dead yet?

Do you know any one who's blind?

yes

Deaf?

yes

Dumb?

yes

Paralyzed?

yes

Is this stupid?

yes

Am I smart?

NO

How old am I?

How old are you?

How old are my brothers?

Why does my baby brother like candy?

Why are my walls lilac? Why aren't they rose?

Why can't I live in the mountains?

Why can you buy guns and such in Utah?

Why are there deserts?

Tropics?

Plains?

Mountains?

Oceans?

Are you annoyed with me now?

Why do us kids have to attend school?

Do you have pets?

Why did you put down a bunch of @#*$%^ before answering any of my questions?

What kind of foot do I have?

How about LPG?

You?

Are you eccentric?

Am I nosy?

Why do the Redwallers always defeat bad dudes? Why can't they make a treaty after several centries of fighting and live in peace with each other?

Why did the ring make Frodo depressed?

How come Legolas can fight a whole army of orcs and only suffer a bruise?

Can you ice skate?

Roller-blade?

Sled?

Sled down stairs on shields?

Fight balrogs?

Should I go away now?

Pinedance Coneslinger


 * 1) no, it isnt an easy language to learn
 * 2) no, you dont annoy me (SARCASM ALERT!)
 * 3) if it was up to me, you wouldnt be doing this at all.
 * 4) Ocean Elementery.
 * 5) yes
 * 6) yes
 * 7) yes
 * 8) toyota
 * 9) you
 * 10) killing things
 * 11) SHUT UP ALREADY
 * 12) it was invented by the air-force in Area 51 to find Nazis. the answer you know is WRONG
 * 13) shooting Orphans
 * 14) not yet, but i will work on it.
 * 15) i dont know, mabey 13-14
 * 16) too old.
 * 17) i dont care
 * 18) because he is a wierdo
 * 19) because Rose was killed by Badrang
 * 20) because the mountains have Yetis, and your parents dont want you eaten byYetis. i disagree.
 * 21) because the moon is made of Cheese
 * 22) to hold sand
 * 23) to make fake disaster shows like LOST.
 * 24) for Buffalos
 * 25) for Yetis
 * 26) to hold undrinkable water and fish
 * 27) your trying to ask me 100 questions, arnt you?
 * 28) so that you dont become stupid. it seems to be failing on SOME of you.......
 * 29) yes
 * 30) because i was @^%$@# ANGRY AT YOU FOR MAKEING A 32 QUESTION LIST! NOW I AM EVEN MORE ANGRY!!!
 * 31) Squirrel foot
 * 32) Hare foot
 * 33) EVIL FEET
 * 34) why, yes. thank you.
 * 35) yes, yes you are.
 * 36) because Brian Jacques chose it that way.
 * 37) because its an EMO ring
 * 38) because he is an elf.
 * 39) no
 * 40) yes
 * 41) yes
 * 42) yes
 * 43) yes
 * 44) WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 
 * 1) for Buffalos
 * 2) for Yetis
 * 3) to hold undrinkable water and fish
 * 4) your trying to ask me 100 questions, arnt you?
 * 5) so that you dont become stupid. it seems to be failing on SOME of you.......
 * 6) yes
 * 7) because i was @^%$@# ANGRY AT YOU FOR MAKEING A 32 QUESTION LIST! NOW I AM EVEN MORE ANGRY!!!
 * 8) Squirrel foot
 * 9) Hare foot
 * 10) EVIL FEET
 * 11) why, yes. thank you.
 * 12) yes, yes you are.
 * 13) because Brian Jacques chose it that way.
 * 14) because its an EMO ring
 * 15) because he is an elf.
 * 16) no
 * 17) yes
 * 18) yes
 * 19) yes
 * 20) yes
 * 21) WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?