User blog:WildloughRhulain/Please, God, help me

Journal: 2-2-2012

I feel so incredibly dissatisfied with myself, with my life I’m not doing all these things The things I enjoy The things I need to do to simply survive I just don’t care anymore I don’t even want to care It takes too much. It takes so much out of me Being awake is exhausting in itself.

I just don’t want to do this anymore I don’t want to be this But I can’t seem to get past something Something So many things Being hurt by the wrong people Doing all the wrong things At the worst possible times So many times

Where am I? And what am I doing here? Nothing productive, that’s for sure. A slave to grief An insomniac I’m not taking care of myself and I’m lying about it I want to leave so badly But that’s an obvious statement: “I’m not happy” I don’t want anyone to know I’m not happy I don’t want to fail anyone, I can’t do this; if I do I’ll fail them I know I will.

I just want to accomplish something, anything at this point Do something right Make a promise and keep it, set a goal and reach it. I want to cry, I want to break down And be able to let someone console me I’m giving up on things Few things feel important to me Am I closer to the edge than ever?